


To bury my love, in the moondust.

by BlueLakeNostalgia



Series: Habits of my heart [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 16:18:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueLakeNostalgia/pseuds/BlueLakeNostalgia
Summary: The brightness of the sun, will give me just enoughTo bury my love, in the MoondustI long to hear your voice, but still I make the choiceTo bury my love, in the Moondust.





	To bury my love, in the moondust.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a one shot and angst at that, so..yeah, i hope you enjoy reading this. 
> 
> Listen to "Moondust" by James Young while reading this. :)

 

Smoothing  the creases on his shirt, Levi glanced at his watch on his left hand. He should be leaving now if he didn’t want to be late. Running a hand though his hair and giving himself one last look in the mirror. Dark circles gracing his cold, steel eyes and an all too usual frown on his face. Well, it was to be expected. Sighing, he took his car keys from the table and left his home.

Driving on a weekend always was a hassle. Old people crossing roads way too slowly. People who didn’t know shit about cars, driving rampantly. It was easy to mistake them for children seeing how they loved blowing up their horns. Too many people. Too much noise. Everything was too much. He could feel a migraine coming. It was a surprise he hadn’t rammed his car into someone by now.

Finally, after almost half an hour of driving he could see his destination. Few minutes later he came to his stop. A small rose garden around him filling his nostrils with the distinct smell of roses. Coming out his car and looking at the large grey-white building, standing proud in all its glory. However, as much as the building was beautiful, it was also intimidating and filled Levi with a sense of dread. He wanted to turn around and go hide back in the comforts of his room. Away from everything, where nothing could hurt him. Where he was alone .Levi released a shaky breath and started moving towards the St. Joseph Cathedral.

-

Blue periwinkles decorating the interior on the cathedral. Of course. They were _his_ favorite flowers. Sunlight bouncing off of them, making them shine. He looked around, everything looked mystical. The scenery looked as if it came right out of a fairy tale. He could feel his chest constricting and his throat dry. Trying to calm his self, he looked around to find something , anything , to distract him from his thought. Anything  to take off his mind from the memories.

He saw a familiar blonde head, smiling and sitting with a spectacled woman, talking animatedly. Walking up to them and stood behind the woman.

“Hey, Shitty Glasses.” He cleared his throat and prepared his ears for the sonic assault..

“LEEVIIII!!!! You’re here!” The crazy woman shouted.

“Yes, I am.” He gave her a bored look. “Eyebrows”, he gave a nod at the humongous blonde.

“Hello, Levi. I am happy to see you here. I thought you wouldn’t come.” Erwin said with a smile. It would fool a normal person who met Erwin for the first time but years of friendship has taught Levi to see behind that smile. A smile that was filled with concern and pity. He didn’t like that smile.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” He didn’t mean to bite the words out but he couldn’t help his defensive tone. “Where’s Mike anyway?” He asked averting his eyes.

“Oh, he was chatting up with Moblit!” Hange exclaimed while pointing towards the two males standing near a window.

“You know, me and Moblit just bought a new bonsai….” Levi zoned out the rest of the her voice and looked at the altar. On shaky legs he walked to take his seat and sat down. He looked up at the ceiling and took a long breath. Closing his eyes he tried to think of anything else than _his_ face.

“You don’t have to pretend, you know.”

“And what exactly am I pretending, Erwin?” He said without turning his head towards the older man.

“To be strong.”

 Oh, the irony. Telling, Humanity’s Strongest to be not strong, what a cruel sense of humor fate has. Levi chuckled at that. He felt like laughing at himself, but more than that, he felt like crying for himself. He can’t even cry now because _he_ isn’t here to wipe the tears away. To hold him and whisper sweet nothings in his ears, because _he_ was good with words just like Levi was bad with them.

He heard a loud laugh and his eyes shifted to the two men standing at the altar. One with a dark gray suit, who was talking and squeezing the other man’s shoulder. The other man donned a crisp black suit with two periwinkles on his lapel. He was fidgeting with his collar and looked nervous.

Well, who wouldn’t be when you are the groom, he supposed. A bitter taste filled mouth. An urge to go up there and punch him in the face invaded his body. But he kept himself seated with a lot of self restraint. The man – _the groom_ – was not ugly, to his dismay. Black hair, brown eyes and strong build, not much different from him.

He mentally slapped himself for even going down that line to thought. And it was not really his first time seeing this man. He was used to seeing his face on _his_ social media all the time.  It was just his first time seeing him not on the screen on his cell phone. And the more he looked at him he couldn’t help thinking how much better this man was from him. The music echoed and bounced off the walls, notes of the piano started to fill the whole space and pulled Levi out of his mind. His eyes travelled towards the end of the aisle.

White suit jacket and dress pants, peach shirts and a neatly tied bow, though a little crooked towards the left, like always. Guess some things really don’t change. Nimble digits holding a delicate bouquet of white gardenias and periwinkles. A nervous tremor running through them that might go unnoticed by the eyes of a stranger, but not Levi.

 He remembers holding those hands. _Kissing_ them. Walking him down the aisle is Mikasa, holding _him_ grounded. Chestnut brown hair adorned with an intricate flower crown. He remembered running his hands through those strands. Washing them gently, drying them playfully and inhaling the familiar scent. The scent of home. Viridian eyes that could put the most luscious forests to shame, looking ahead with a mix of emotions that has Levi all choked up. He wills his head to stop looking at _him_. But when has his mind ever listened to him when it came to Eren Jaeger.

Eren walked right past him and stood in front of his to be _husband_. Even thinking about it made bile rise up his throat. Eren stood beside his best man, Armin. Levi then shifted his eyes to the man who standing in front of Eren. He looked so darn happy. Fucking moron. Levi sat with clenched teeth as the priest went on speaking shit about values and importance of love and family. Fuck him. Fuck this. This was not a good idea. What was he thinking coming here, acting like a good sport? He wasn’t even a good person. He was a shitty person. And maybe that is why God was making him go through all this. Watching the love of his life be with someone else. Maybe, this is what he deserved.

“Do you, Sebastian Cindy Brook, take Eren Ruth Jaeger, as your lawfully wedded husband ?” Asked the priest.

“I do.” Says the other man, wiping a tear off his cheeks.

“Do you, Eren Ruth Jaeger, take Sebastian Cindy Brook, as your lawfully wedded husband?”

Everything seemed to slow down. White noise in his head. His fingers not moving just like his whole body. Waiting for the guillotine to drop.

“Fuck Yeah. I-I mean I do. I do.” Chuckles filling the whole atmosphere but the only thing he could hear was his heart breaking into a thousand pieces.

“You may now, kiss each other.” The priest smiled.

The people jumped from their seats hollering and cheering as the newly weds kissed. He slowly walked out of his seat and started walking outside. A need for air scratching his throaty. He was suffocating in their happiness. A happiness he was not part of. A happiness he could’ve have been part of, if not for his out mistakes. A future he could’ve build together with Eren, if not for his foolishness. He should’ve spent more time with him. Given him more attention. Smiled more, argued less. He should’ve said ‘I love You’s more.

Falling to his knees, he cried. Cried for the all the time he lost. Cried for all their memories together. Cried for them. And cried for their love. A love he was sure could conquer all. Oh, how wrong he was. He had lost him now. Forever. If only he could forget about their love and move on. But he knows deep in his heart that that could never happen, cause’ when Eren left, he took half of Levi’s heart and soul and the other half of it will always be looking and craving for it. For eternity.

 

_~fin~_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Should i make a series with this story ???? I love reading comments and constructive criticism is always welcome. Oh and if someone knows how to link things in ao3 help me please and i'm looking for a beta reader/editor so if anyone is interested then please dm me on twitter : @deepshikhamardi   
> Hope you liked it. Adios.


End file.
